Hi readers.
Another week of school has gone again. And I can't believe we've been in school for 2 weeks already. So fast.
Anyway, as usual, I had cheer practice again today. From 1pm right up till 4pm. After that, I rushed straight for my ballet class at 4.30pm. This time, I had one new friend in my ballet class!:) Rozmin. If I'm not wrong, heh. Ballet was overall not as tiring as what I had thought because in my opinion, I think cheer practice is worse. So much more tiring than ballet. Well perhaps it was because my thighs are hurting like "Ohemgee" until I couldn't even feel anything while I was doing class just now. But you wanna know something, I thought I did better in my class today! :D Way better. I felt that my legs are stronger now. & I could hold myself up properly & kind of able to sustain those legs in the air. Well, maybe I'm over thinking too much or whatever, but yeah, I'm telling you, that was exactly what I felt back when I was doing class today:)
Hmm, cheer probably did some good to me afterall other than those long hours of killing practices. Oh, & I'm not going to fly anymore because I don't want/don't feel like/afraid of the elevator stunt/super afraid that I might fall anytime/afraid that I might break my bones... & the list goes on. I actually tried the elevator stunt again today. I managed to hold myself up actually without any need of landing my feet on the bases' hands before going UP. But, when they started dipping to bring me up, I just began to lose control of myself and I don't know why. I was just too afraid of even accepting the fact that I'm actually flying. & THEN, the worse part comes, I body weight kept shifting back or forth. & I kept depending on the guy to front spot me.. I basically had to hold him everytime when I'm up there. I just couldn't tense my whole upper body. So not used to it. It's so much different than ballet, where you are supposed to tense your lower body, and relax your upper body. And you know what's the stupidest thing, I always tend to naturally pointe my feet downwards when I'm up there rather than flexing it. Gee.
Even worse, I fell today. I fell flat back, I don't know how, but I just landed on my right ribs(from behind). So scaryyyy. I think I fell like more that 3 times today already.. I know the process of learning how to do a nice & perfect elevator would take time, needs lots of practices, but I just somehow couldn't bring myself up. I always have no confident in myself.. Even Nicole could tell that from my face expression. I just didn't want to fly. But people were kept asking me to fly when I wasn't even READY & at my best state, since my left elbow is a bit cacated due to yesterday's accident. Aiks. They just wouldn't listen don't they. Why must they ask someone to do something that they don't even want to do & don't even have to confidence plus guts of doing it? I just don't understand. If they want me to fly so badly, they must also think of the reasons why I wouldn't want to flyyyy..
After so long of begging them to not make me fly anymore, they finally took what I said seriously. & that was how I ended up being a front spotter:) Anyway, I feel really bad for not flying because those people who were originally supposed to back spot and act as my bases, had nothing to do anymore.. They are now either backspotting or frontspotting other group stunts. Gosh. You wouldn't know how much I went through today. Some people kept saying being a flyer is the best thing, and the luckiest thing you would ever have. blablabla. I'm just not up for this. So just stop telling me all these sh*. I wouldn't do something that I don't feel comfortable & confident about. I thought today was the worst practice out of so many so far. I hope tomorrow's going to be better. FYI, we'll be having cheer practice tomorrow again. YES. You heard me. On a Saturday morning from 8am (normal school hours) to 1pm:( I'm so tired. I just feel like giving up already sometimes. My body muscles don't even have sufficient time to rest before I start my practice again.
*GOD. Please help me!
Alright, I need to go now. It's actually almost 12am now. & it's time for me to go to bed!
I wish for a better day tomorrow:)
xoxo
Till then.
Another week of school has gone again. And I can't believe we've been in school for 2 weeks already. So fast.
Anyway, as usual, I had cheer practice again today. From 1pm right up till 4pm. After that, I rushed straight for my ballet class at 4.30pm. This time, I had one new friend in my ballet class!:) Rozmin. If I'm not wrong, heh. Ballet was overall not as tiring as what I had thought because in my opinion, I think cheer practice is worse. So much more tiring than ballet. Well perhaps it was because my thighs are hurting like "Ohemgee" until I couldn't even feel anything while I was doing class just now. But you wanna know something, I thought I did better in my class today! :D Way better. I felt that my legs are stronger now. & I could hold myself up properly & kind of able to sustain those legs in the air. Well, maybe I'm over thinking too much or whatever, but yeah, I'm telling you, that was exactly what I felt back when I was doing class today:)
Hmm, cheer probably did some good to me afterall other than those long hours of killing practices. Oh, & I'm not going to fly anymore because I don't want/don't feel like/afraid of the elevator stunt/super afraid that I might fall anytime/afraid that I might break my bones... & the list goes on. I actually tried the elevator stunt again today. I managed to hold myself up actually without any need of landing my feet on the bases' hands before going UP. But, when they started dipping to bring me up, I just began to lose control of myself and I don't know why. I was just too afraid of even accepting the fact that I'm actually flying. & THEN, the worse part comes, I body weight kept shifting back or forth. & I kept depending on the guy to front spot me.. I basically had to hold him everytime when I'm up there. I just couldn't tense my whole upper body. So not used to it. It's so much different than ballet, where you are supposed to tense your lower body, and relax your upper body. And you know what's the stupidest thing, I always tend to naturally pointe my feet downwards when I'm up there rather than flexing it. Gee.
Even worse, I fell today. I fell flat back, I don't know how, but I just landed on my right ribs(from behind). So scaryyyy. I think I fell like more that 3 times today already.. I know the process of learning how to do a nice & perfect elevator would take time, needs lots of practices, but I just somehow couldn't bring myself up. I always have no confident in myself.. Even Nicole could tell that from my face expression. I just didn't want to fly. But people were kept asking me to fly when I wasn't even READY & at my best state, since my left elbow is a bit cacated due to yesterday's accident. Aiks. They just wouldn't listen don't they. Why must they ask someone to do something that they don't even want to do & don't even have to confidence plus guts of doing it? I just don't understand. If they want me to fly so badly, they must also think of the reasons why I wouldn't want to flyyyy..
After so long of begging them to not make me fly anymore, they finally took what I said seriously. & that was how I ended up being a front spotter:) Anyway, I feel really bad for not flying because those people who were originally supposed to back spot and act as my bases, had nothing to do anymore.. They are now either backspotting or frontspotting other group stunts. Gosh. You wouldn't know how much I went through today. Some people kept saying being a flyer is the best thing, and the luckiest thing you would ever have. blablabla. I'm just not up for this. So just stop telling me all these sh*. I wouldn't do something that I don't feel comfortable & confident about. I thought today was the worst practice out of so many so far. I hope tomorrow's going to be better. FYI, we'll be having cheer practice tomorrow again. YES. You heard me. On a Saturday morning from 8am (normal school hours) to 1pm:( I'm so tired. I just feel like giving up already sometimes. My body muscles don't even have sufficient time to rest before I start my practice again.
*GOD. Please help me!
Alright, I need to go now. It's actually almost 12am now. & it's time for me to go to bed!
I wish for a better day tomorrow:)
xoxo
Till then.
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