Be confident in your own skin

Before you read this, please brace yourself. The following post for today is going to be one heck of a long one.. 

Many of us tend to care a lot about not only our personal appearance these days (because we are more vain than ancient days' people, hahaaa), but also about others', especially when it comes to physical appearance. Most of the time, I must admit, when we come across or even meet somebody for the first time, we all have this tendency or habit to look at their physique first. 

From there, eventually, one of the most common things that comes into most of our mind would be the word, which begins with the letter W: weight. Yeap, it is the weight of others that I'm talking about here now, which typically is the attention of most, aside from the facial appearance of course.

For instance, "Look at the girl over there, she's so skinny!" "Look! X has gained so much weight compared to the last time, I wonder why..." "OMG. He has lost so much weight! Definitely looks much better now.. How did he do that?" I could go on and on about the examples in daily life that we normally encounter, but what's the point? When clearly, we already know what the problem is right now: People will never stop commenting on your weight, especially when you are either slightly fatter or thinner than what they want you to be. (let me put it this way)

Yes, I know and would certainly agree that it is really beyond our mankind's control for judging how others are physically built almost every time whether or not it is about meeting new people or reuniting with friends again after a long time. The first thing that we ever notice is actually about how big (fat) someone actually is, how thin they look, or how well-built they are, and even how much weight they've gained or lost over the years after seeing them again.. 

But actually, do we really need to point out these obvious facts or even think about them whenever we are meeting a new friend, or old friends? 

I mean, isn't the whole purpose of meeting people about enjoying the new/existing company and also getting to know one another much better? I don't know when or how did we ever become so conscious about others' weight till we have to constantly remind ourselves about it every time we are meeting someone new or old.. 

Has the mindset of people today changed so much that all they see is the physical appearance of one but not the other qualities that they possess within them? I am just so confused. 

The reason why I am writing this post today is because I know how frustrating it must be and how it certainly feels to be in the shoes of those who are constantly being picked on, judged or even being discussed as one of the topics during conversations over tea, but all for the wrong reason: only because they look slightly different in terms of body weight, size and physical built compared to others. 

To me, it doesn't matter what size you are of, whether you are a plus size, petite or even someone who is clearly overweight. Because no matter what you are, as long as deep inside, you are happy for being the size that you are today, nothing else can actually weigh up to that part of satisfaction that you possess. 

I'll take myself as an example. Over the years, especially in recent years since I've sort of stopped dancing for awhile, I have clearly lost a number of weight compared to those days (before I left for college at 17) when I'm always going for intensive dance lessons (ballet and modern) solely for exam, performance and competition purposes, which takes place for almost 4 or sometimes exactly 7 times a week depending on situations. And each time, the classes is usually about 2 hours or more. Sometimes, I even have two different classes back-to-back before I can even call it a day. 

Back then in 2010, and now in 2014. The difference? Depends on how you see it..

____

Well, my main point is, since then, people who have known me long before this or have known me throughout their life, have never stopped comparing my current self to my old self, that was during those dancing glory days of mine. When they look at me, all they see is the difference in my weight, hence my body size, but not how much I've grown and matured as a person. Yes, I will admit that judging at my current self, I would describe myself as one with really small and thin arms (that's because my arms was never really huge or flabby in any way before this), and have sort of thin thighs with a huge thigh gap (that thigh gap I have to admit is a lie. It's all because of the structure of bone for my legs are similar to my dad's. We both have a huge thigh gap, only us in the family) Ughhh. 

But what can I say or do to satisfy them? No matter how much I've tried to eat more than usual or gaining the weight that most desires me to, what is the point, when at the end of the day, I will only burden myself more by taking in the extra energy that my body doesn't need, and that will only make myself less productive in carrying out tasks than usual. After all, you are the one in control of your own body. Therefore, over the years, I've also learnt to cope with the fact that we shouldn't let comments that others have made about our weight affect our feelings or judgement about ourselves. 

Ever since I've been in this state of body physique, I always try to be as calm as possible when I have to explain to those around me about the truth that I'm honestly not skipping any meals when they start questioning my weight, accusing me of being too thin or even claimed that I have a wrong perception about beauty (because most of the time, they think that I'm so thin as I believe that I can only feel pretty when I'm skinny?!). But again, they never seemed to quite understand or let alone listen to me. At the end of the day, the only person who would truly understand what my body is going through is me, myself and I; not even my family, boyfriend or friends would understand.

To make things clearer, I have always been one who eats my meal regularly without any strict diets, but can never seemed to show the weight gain that others would love to see on myself from my body physique especially. In fact, I was only actually at my heaviest stage when I first went to college at 17-years-old, which I have successfully gained about 5 kg after my strong eating habits that consisted of 4 set of full meals a day (breakfast, lunch, tea break, and supper), and endless snacking plus binging on desserts. All I can say is that, although I may appeal to most as an underweight person through pictures on social network or even in real life, but then again, I would still like to say that I definitely do not have an eating disorder: ANOREXIA. Yes, I've said it loud and clear. So what if I'm not the person with the weight that you want me to be? That doesn't indicate that I'm not healthy or someone who is lacked of nutrition. I am just different, and clearly not the person with the kind of size that you've pictured or want me to be.

In short, the whole purpose of this post of mine today is to tell those of you out there who is going through the same thing as I am, just be confident in your own skin. We should never let the words of others about your weight affect the way you think about yourselves. It doesn't mean that just because we are bigger or smaller comparatively to most around us, that makes us weaker, less competent or more socially awkward than the rest... The same theory applies to the situation where even if we were of the weight and size that most people are satisfied with, that doesn't mean we are any happier or more successful than those who are not. 

So, it's really simple, all we have to bear in mind is: never judge a book by its cover. Everyone is just different in their own unique ways.. :) Remember: your body, you control.


- - -

My apologies for the long-winded post. It's just a feeling that I find really hard to express at times and that it's also something I've been keeping to myself for quite awhile now.. Feels great to let it all out at once, in this post for today! *evil laughs*

I guess that pretty much sums up my entire post for today. Hope it's a read that doesn't bore you guys.



✗



KrystalH